Thursday, December 3, 2009

Introspection




Way back in 2001 when I first started blogging, this little parrot was on my web page. I still like him. Actually, he is supposed to be animated, he says "hello", but blogger doesn't allow animations. I had nine pages plus two from my high school with lots of pictures that were sent to me by my old classmates. I would spend lots of time uploading interesting tidbits for my old friends and some new ones too. I don't do that anymore and I am letting my domain expire. Now there is a very sweet and much younger person who will pick up where I left off. It sure was fun though.

I had pages about my town of Deming, my adopted State of New Mexico, Native Americans, especially the Navajos. Lots of pages, sigh. My health kind of keeps deteriorating and not much becomes too much for me. I know some of you can appreciate that. Getting old is certainly not all it is cracked up to be.

I am very lucky in that I have a very attentive and loving husband of nearly 32 years. I was married previously and after that awful experience, I know good when I see it. My children have all produced grandchildren. Also, I have step-grandchildren. All sweet kids but I don't really see them except in photos. I am not complaining about that, I know I am not up to visiting with children at this stage of my life. I like quiet and peaceful things which children are not. I loved my children when they were little, but you know, kids don't remember that. My neighbors keep dying off. Our neighborhood has, (or did have), many senior citizens. My next door neighbors, Margie and Joe, moved up to Placitas, NM. More accurately their kids came and got them, put the house up for sale and built them a small place next door to them. Well, Margie used to call from time to time but didn't want to give out her phone number and finally quit calling. I hope she is ok. Joe was getting pretty bad with his cancer and chf, so I expect that he is gone now. My neighbor across the street Connie, whom we saw everyday, was moved out of her house by her son and went to live in one of his apartments so he could have someone look after her after she had a fairly serious fall. I really miss Connie. She died 3 weeks ago. Our longtime good friends from California are getting very scarce these days. Betty and David. Well, I know why, Betty has Alzheimer's which is getting worse and David has already transferred all the property into his daughter's name in Kansas. He is just waiting until he can put her into a Nursing Home and I don't like the way he talks about her.

Our lady from down the street that walked every day by our place had surgery and died on the table. She always stopped and talked. She was from Michigan. She gave me cabbage and broccoli plants and enjoyed talking gardening.

See the problem with getting old, I am 75, is that you lose your friends. My good friend Don who lived in Gladstone,Mo. was the best. He knew all my secrets, and he died last year after a long hard battle with diabetes. My old classmate Bobby had a serious stroke last year and is living on borrowed time, because they cannot reach the blood clot behind his brain. My husband Floyd takes walks and has a few old guys he still stops and visits with, some are in their 90s and it gives him some contact with people, and gets him out of the house.

My health problem is mostly CHF and poor vision. I can stand and work for about an hour and then I must rest. Some days are better than others. I like to cook and if I do it in stages, it works. I can still go shopping but do more and more online. I can walk in the market, but not more than one hour. It will get worse. I am not renewing my driver's license this year, just gonna get an ID Card. I just need it to cash checks. Floyd takes me everywhere and doesn't complain. Rides are not much fun because if we are gone more than about 45 minutes, I get very anxious and I don't know why. Doctor said I cannot fly and of course a long drive is out, so what I enjoy is basically my home, my dogs, books and TV plus the computer. I think that is a good deal. We get a daily newspaper which gives us local news and Floyd listens to the local radio station.

Life changes when we get old, for some the aging process comes about slower than for others and some folks are able to be active well into their 90s and now, even beyond.
I wish my children a long, healthy life. To some extent, we are all a product of our genetics. Hopefully, that genome map will aid in extending life for folks in the near future.

I enjoy reading about just about everything and love TV, but without my computer, I would be so messed up. I enjoy reading blogs and have added two more to my friend's list. I love reading about active outdoorsy types, lol.

Here is something cute I stole from Melody:

4 comments:

Lynilu said...

Moni, do I read this correctly? Are you going to stop blogging? Or are you just letting go of part of it?

I certainly hear what you are saying about losing friends. My friend in Tucson and I were talking recently about that. So many have passed away just since our reunion 7 years ago. It is sad and some days very hard to deal with.

Late in life stages are tough. Period.

~mel said...

Oh Moni... please don't stop blogging! Even though I don't comment as often as I should... I still read your post and enjoy them so much. I love hearing about you and Deming.

I know first hand what a bitch that rotten CHF is ... as I too am a heart patient. All we can do is slow down when we need to and learn to accept the help from others when needed too. It's hard to give up our independence.

That cat in the hat on aging... it reminds me so much of my Dad who passed away 2 years ago from CHF.... he would talk like that in real life! He was such a hoot!

You hang in there!!! Don't give up. There are too many people in this world who love you and want you around for as long as the Good Lord sees fit.

If you do stop writing on a blog; please keep reading them at least. Keep in touch. My gosh girl... we go back a few years... don't we? You were one of the very first people I met online:) You've become more than just a cyberspace friend to me ... you've become a GOOD FRIEND.

Love ya bunches and bunches from the frigid north. ~mel

moni said...

Thank you ladies. No, I will keep this blog going. The blog I was referring to was my domain which I began a long time ago. Anyway, Mel, you are such a dear, I will always be around for you!

Unknown said...

Grandma I miss you. Maybe sometime early next year I can drive or fly out for a day or so and you can meet my son. Austin Is 15 Months old now and walking... He is truely amazing. I miss you and grandpa and I would love for you to meet your GREAT grandson. I lOve you! :D!